Camping!
by mistressofbakura
Summary: Everyones excited about the camping trip, except for the three yamis. What happens to them? What happens to the hikaris? And, since when did Ryou become afraid of squirrels too?What is the world coming too?
1. lets go!

Chapter 1!  
  
"Yugi, earth ta yugi! Wake up dude!"  
  
"Hmmf, Jou?"  
  
"Man, you've been asleep in class! come one. It's spring va-k! Remember, we guys are goin campin!" Yugi could tell his blonde headed friend was very excited. Everyone was, except for the three yamis. Yami didn't want to get allergies, Marik didn't want to lose his jewelry, and Bakura- well, to make a long story short, he didn't want to see another squirrel in his life! Why is Bakura afraid of squirrels? The world may never know, well, except for him.  
  
"Okay Jou, lets go." Yugi got up and fallowed Jou out the door. As soon as he got home, he heard a screech.  
  
"Yami your going!" Grampa yelled.  
  
"No! You can't make me!" Yami fussed, he really didn't want to go. Grampa suddenly brought down a suitcase and slammed Yami into it. After he zipped Yami up, he then put a lock on it and swallowed the key. (*.*;) After that he then kicked the suitcase down the stairs.  
  
"mmmmhalllp!"  
  
"What?" Yugi asked.  
  
"Yugi, I believe Yami asked for help." "Right, of course he did." Mai walked out of livingroom.  
  
"Now all we have to do is wait for your grampa to deigest that freakin key so we can unlock it. Yugi?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Your grampa's an idiot,"  
  
"Thanks- hey.....wait a minute!" Mai walked to the door and answered it. It was Ryou and Bakura, ready to go on the camping trip.  
  
"Hey, something looks different about you Bakura.....new haircut?" Bakura muffled a sound, he was wrapped in a street jacket. Ryou had also put something over his mouth too.  
  
"Jou?" Ryou asked.  
  
"Yea?"  
  
"Your a retard."  
  
"Yes, I know-hey......I take that offensively! Umm, Mai, what's a retard?" Everyone fell anime style. All of a sudden before everyone knew it, Isis, and Anzu were standing waiting to go. "Hey! No girls aloud! It's a boys nights out-" "Well it suddenly changed to a girls nights out then. Lets get a move on girlscouts!" Anzu blew her whistle. "Who want's to drive?"  
  
"ME! OH! OH! ME! I WANNA DRIVE!" Malik was jumping up and down, Yami finally popped out of the suitcase.  
  
"No! Not after that 'nation wide car wreck disaster' thing you caused!"  
  
"Well then who? Ryou is NOT driving." Mai stated, Ryou jumped at her.  
  
"Why not?!"  
  
"You drive slow!" Ryou made a face then shouted, "Whoever votes Mai raise their hand!" Everyone raised their hands and sat down. "Urrgh. You'll pay Ryou. Fine, I'll drive. Whatever. If anyone needs to take care of personal buisness go now or-"  
  
"Forever hold your peace?"  
  
"No Malik, what I was trying to say was if you gotta go then go right now."  
  
"Go where?"  
  
"Nowhere,"  
  
"Sorry, I don't now where nowhere is."  
  
"I GIVE UP!"  
  
"WELL THEN I GIVE DOWN!"  
  
"MALIK!!!" mob: How'd you like that all? tg: It was alright. mob: I need ideas for future Ideas. Please send me suggestions and I will work them in somewhere. tg: Ooh, guess what? Bakura's gonna be in for a big suprise! mob: Tikigrl! Don't spoil it! tg: I wasn't- mob: just hush! 


	2. it begins

Camping trip chapter two!  
  
Mai kept on cursing to herself, the only car she would ever drive is her corvet, not some run down old blue van! 'This is so unfair, Why did Malik have to cause that huge carwreck?' 30 minutes later the van made a popping noise, "Oh my Ra! The tire popped!" Malik screamed.  
  
"Thank you doctor obvious!"  
  
"See! If I would have drived then this wouldn't have happend!" "Well- you drive to slow!" Mai and Ryou started argueing then Bakura ripped out of the street jacket.  
  
"ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Look, there's the damn forest over there, we made it so lets just have Yami push the van to the side of the road and camp there!" Everyone clapped at this plan, well, except Yami.  
  
"Why do I have to push the van?"  
  
"Because your you and we're we so literally, you have to push it."  
  
"Oh, okay- no! You are not gonna trick me like that, I was Pharoah and you were a slave so you and Marik have to do it."  
  
"NO!" Marik fussed. "I'm not gonna do it, not even if you tie me to a tree!"  
  
LATER  
  
"I cannot believe they tied me to a tree!" Marik tried to squirm out of the toilet paper that they used to wrap him around the tree.  
  
"You called for it. Besides, we all pushed it." Yami tried to turn the campfire on. "Hey, where's Ryou and Bakura?" Mai asked, "Oh, we sent them for more wood." Yugi replied happily as he and Anzu set the big tent up. In the woods, Bakura just tripped. As he slowly got up, something flopped onto his head.  
  
"R.r...r..ryou- p..p.please tell me that there is not a squirrel on my head!" Bakura started to shake as Ryou remained there silent.  
  
"Okay- don't move- you know what squirrels do when their scared. They bit your ears off, then they-"  
  
"Your not helping Ryou- get it off my head. Ryou, get it off my- AGHH!" The squirrled jumped off him and into Ryou's arms. "Awwww, it's so cute! Bakura can we keep it-"  
  
"NO! I mean, what do you think the answer is?"  
  
"Fine, your such a baby! Afraid of things littler than you. Why?"  
  
"Have you seen how furry those things are Ryou? Or the way that they move?" Bakura started to freak out and ran to camp, meanwhile, Ryou was still in the woods, carrying the squirrel. "Your so cute, what harm can you cause?" Ryou soothed behind the small things ears. All of a sudden, many squirrels started to appear and then they all jumped onto Ryou. Soon enough he was covered with them.  
  
"AGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!GET THEM OFFA ME! BAKURA, HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 


	3. poor marik!

mob: So, how'd you all like that chapter?  
  
tg: I hated it.  
  
mob: Who asked you? That's it, your out! *grabs next host in line* Your in!  
  
tg: Nooo!!!  
  
Pl: Nice to meet you all, I'm PinkyLedia!  
  
mob: okay, next chapter!  
  
Camping chapter 3!  
  
yami was still having trouble lighting the fire. Jou was fed up! "That's it, move ova Yami! Jou's comin in!" Jou took off his shoes and started to rub his feet together, all of a sudden instead of setting the wood on fire, he set himself!  
  
"Aghhhh! WATER, WATER!" Jou screamed as if the world was coming to an end. Anzu blew her whistle.  
  
"Alright girlscout, stop, drop, and roll!" Jou did exactly as he was told and then the fire stopped. Smoke was coming off of him.  
  
"While you were lit, couldn't you have at least lit the wood? Now you have to do it again!" Jou fainted, all of a sudden Ryou came running out of the woods and ran over Jou. "Don't let them get me Anzu!"  
  
"Pull yourself together girlscout! You all are the sadest ecuses-" Marik started to shout from where he was tied up. "WE ARE NOT GIRLSCOUTS! WE ARE BOYS!"  
  
"So?" Anzu then blew her whistle again, well, that was until Honda came and pulled it out of her mouth. "Will you stop blowing this dang whistle? All day long, it's upsetting the kids!"  
  
"Uh- we don't have kids...."  
  
"Oh no! They dissapeared! Aghh!" Honda ran face forward into a tree, Anzu then grabbed her whistle back.  
  
"You do not take the whistle from me!" Anzu walked to Marik and started to blow it in his ear.  
  
"Owwww! That hurts-stop it!" Marik squirmed and didn't notice he had gotten free. "FREE! YES! HA HA ANZU! IN YOUR FACE!" He ran off then fell ito a big hole.  
  
"Okay girlscouts, into the tent!"  
  
5 HOURS LATER INSIDE THE BIG HOLE......... "Hello?hello......" 


	4. it begins

Mob: I just loved it so mych! people please read and review. Ideas! Need ideas!  
  
Pl: Yes. I liked it too.  
  
Mob: But yu didn't love it!  
  
Pl: -__-;  
  
Mob: You wanna be replaced?  
  
Pl: No... I LOVED THE LAST CHAPTERS!  
  
Mob: That's better ^.^  
  
IN THE MORNING....  
  
"Somone, anyone- get me out! Malik?SOMEONE PLEASE! I'm sorry!"  
  
"Can we get that on tape?"Yami looked down at Marik, he then fell in with him.  
  
"What happened?" Mai asked. "Well, Marik just apologized for the first time in his life!"  
  
"Gasp!" Mai suddenly uttered, She helped Yami outta the hole. The two joined hands and skipped away, "Lalalalala!" Marik stared at the, his eye suddenly twitched.  
  
"HEY! YOU TWO GET ME OUT OF HERE! I HAVEN'T EATEN IN 3 DAYS!"  
  
"But we've only been out here for 1-"  
  
"MALIK HAD ME GO ON A DIET!" Mai looked at him, then scratched her head. "To tell you the truth you look kinda heavy!"  
  
"HEAVY?! OKAY, MY BUTT MAY BE A BIT BIG- THAT'S NOT THE SUBJECT! IF YOU DON'T GET ME OUT I'LL DIE AND THEN I'LL HAUNT THE REST OF YOUR LIVES-"  
  
"ALRIGHT ALREADY!" Mai yelled as she opened an emergency exit door.  
  
"Thanks a bunch Mai!" Marik ran out the emergency exit door. Yugi finally woke up and turned on his side, that was untill he saw the ugliest thing in earth in his face.  
  
"AGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANZU, GET AWAY FROM ME!!!" Yugi ran out of the tent in his purple Dark Magician p.js. Anzu got up and ran after him, she was in her Hamtaro p.j's,  
  
"Yugi! What's the matter? Hi Yami!" She totally ignored Yugi, who was already ontop of a tree. He heard a small click-click noise. Yugi slowly turned his head and saw a small brown squirrel. The squirrel smiled evily and his eyes turned into a demonic red flash. He jumped onto Yugi's head and started to chomp on his nose.  
  
"Aghh, Yami! GET THIS THING OF ME!" Yugi fell out of the tree.  
  
"Yugi, what's the matter honey? Is that big fat mean squirrel getting in the way of our love?" Anzu chirped and tossed the squirrel to the floor. Yugi opened his eyes and still saw the ugliest thing in the world. "Anzu, get away from me." She made a face and scooted away, little did she know that the squirrel she tossed to the ground was planning something vowel and mean.  
  
"Hey fellas, more acorns!" The little squirrel whistled and then jumped onto Anzu's head. Soon, a whole army of squirrels started attacking on her head, eating her hair.  
  
5 minutes later  
  
"MY HAIR! IT'S GONE! I'M BALD!"  
  
mob: Hahahaha! I'm even laughing right now! I should have named this fic 'Camp Killer Squirrels'  
  
pl: Yes I agree  
  
mob: You saying I messed this fic up?  
  
pl: No, I'm saying you need to stop jumping to conclusions.  
  
mob: Your right.  
  
pl: I am?  
  
mob: Yup yuor fired.  
  
pl: I am?  
  
mob: *pushes pl out the door and grabs next host in line* 


	5. laughter is the best cure

Mob: Okay readers, meet ILS!  
  
ILS: See, look at the name! It stand for I love squirrels!  
  
Mob: Heehee, I bet it does *sarcastic* *rolls eyes*  
  
ILS: Next chapter up!  
  
Mob: Hey, that's my line!  
  
Chapter5.  
  
"My gorgeous hair! I'm bald! I want my mommy! Mommy, they ate all my hair! Even my eyebrows! Wahh!" Anzu cried. "Curse those stupid squirrels! They are so evil!" All of a sudden Bakura walked out of the tent, yawned, then almost laughed.  
  
"Hey Yami, you seen Anzu? Hey! Who's the ugly hag?"  
  
"Wahh!!!!" Anzu cried even more, "I am Anzu!"  
  
"Woah! Man! And I thought Yami was ugly. Man, I gave Yami a 5, but you deffantly get a 10!"  
  
"Wah!!!!"  
  
"I mean-" Ryou covered his yami's mouth. He nodded a no, and that was that. Well, unleast until he looked at Anzu.  
  
"Aghh! My grandma came back to life! When did that happen?" Yami stared at him, then laughed while Anzu cried. Mai finally came back from searching for wood and when she caught sight of Anzu she dropped all of what she was carrying.  
  
"Oh-my-god! Anzu, what did you do to yourself?"  
  
"Those stupid squirrels did it!"  
  
"Now hush, no need for tears, Mai Valentine always comes packed and prepared! Come with me into the tent." Anzu followed and the two kicked everyone who was sleeping in the tent out and zipped it up. Minutes later Anzu came out with makeup and was wearing a Ch-ch-cha-chia Instant Hair growth cap on her bald little head.  
  
"I never relised how makeup a can make a person look different." Jou said, then turned his attention to Yugi, whose nose was red and swollen. Honda looked at Anzu, then laughed.  
  
"You mean those things actually work?" "Shut up!"  
  
"Why?" "I said shutup!"  
  
"I'm just saying-" "Well I'm just saying to shut up!" She blew her whistle. Honda grabbed it and then put it in a pot, cooked it, then swallowed it. Everyone stared wide eyed.  
  
"Umm, why did you eay my whistle?"  
  
"Because without your hair, you can't be leader." Honda started to laugh, he then started to choke, then when he tried to speak, the whistle spoke instead.  
  
"Beep-beep- beep?"  
  
Everyone started to laugh at the insane teenager.  
  
HOURS LATER! Everyone: Still laughing.  
  
"Okay, it really wasn't that funny!" Mai remarked. They all stared at her, then they continued to laugh.  
  
"Lord, why me me? Why me?" She started banging her head on a tree. Guess what leaped onto her head? Yup, a squirrel! Mai got out a pair of scissors and decapitated the squirrel then continued to bang her head on the tree.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
mob: That was really short! Or was it long? How do I know? Oh, yes, please Read and review.  
  
ILS:Oh, yes, please Read and review.  
  
mob: Watch it boy.... *growls*  
  
ILS: Watch it girl... *growls*  
  
mob: You really want to be fired now don't you?  
  
ILS: No! Please don't fire me!  
  
mob: No! Please don't fire me! Get a taste of your own medicene! Ooops, please read my next chapter. I hope you've all liked it for now. If I don't at least get 2 reviews, I might not write or continue the story.  
  
ILS: It's getting intresting, you don't want to not read the rest of a great fic!  
  
mob: Your actually right ILS!  
  
ILS: My pleasure! 


	6. We are the OSIT!

mob:Are you guys ready for the next chapter?  
  
ILS: Yeah! *raises arm*  
  
mob:Okay!Next chapter! (Thanks for all the reviews!)  
  
Chapter 6! Camping!  
  
After Mai finished banging her head on the tree she noticed she held the body of a squirrel and on the floor was the head.  
  
"Hmm, now I wonder who did this? Theyre a animalist!" Mai stupidly replied, totally forgetting that she was the one who killed it. Meanwhile, Marik and Bakura where listening to music and getting high. Honda and Jou were still laughing at Anzu, Isis was- where was Isis? "Hey guys! What's that in the air?"  
  
"It's a bird!"  
  
"No! It's a plane!"  
  
"It's- *dramatic pause* Isis," Yami said boredly as the Egyptian crashed to the ground. "Well, that was an unpleasant lasnding."  
  
-MILI-SECONDES LATER-  
  
"Where are we?"  
  
"Marik, we are never taking you camping ever again!"  
  
"Aww! Why?"  
  
"Your a stupid retard!" Isis yelled, Jou walked to Isis. "What's a retard? You guys have been calling each other retards, what does it all mean?" Everyone fell animestyle.  
  
"We should lock Marik and Jou up and givr he key to Yugi's grampa so he can eat it!" Little did the gang know, a little group of squirrels were planning a little dirty secret.  
  
(Squirrel launguage)  
  
"Juba Juba Juba?"  
  
"Jubie jubie Jubu?"  
  
"Ju,"  
  
"*Gasp* Squeak!"  
  
(end of stupid squirrel lauguage)  
  
"CHARGE!" The squirrels flowed into the campsite, then started to attack the yu-gi-oh cast.  
  
"I better get paid for this!" Mai screamed, she wanted to get paid if she was gonna die. *Poof* *Authoress appears* *Evil luagh* *Authouress dissapears* "Marik, duck!" Isis screamed.  
  
"What? But these are squirrels!" Marik replied as a squirrel got into a cannon, lit it, then fired at Marik's head, causing the blonde to black out. As a whole bunch of squirrels tackled Yami, he finally broke out. "What do you want from us?" *dramatic pause*  
  
"We want your dirty socks!"  
  
*long pause*  
  
"What? Why?" Jou asked, the squirrel scratched his head. "Well duh! We are the OSIT!"  
  
"Come again?"  
  
"Translation: Otters swim in Tennesee. Duh!"The small squirrel chirped.  
  
"Don't you be saying duh to me!"  
  
"Duh duh duh!"  
  
"You better say your prayers while you can!Umm, what do Otters have to do with this?"  
  
"I dunno. It just sounds cool. Now attack! Get those socks!"  
  
"Nooooo!"  
  
mob: Is the world doomed?  
  
ILS: How will we live on?  
  
mob: Hey, I like your thinking!  
  
ILS: Thankyou! *takes bow*  
  
mob: Anyway, read and review! It has been brought to my attention that I don't have a disclaimer, I will soon fix that. 


	7. The not so happy ending

mob: Disclaimer, I do not own yu-gi-oh. *evil chuckle* (At least not at the moment)  
  
ILS: The seventh chapter of camping, wow!  
  
mob: *hugs ILS*  
  
ILS: *hugs back*  
  
Chapter 7, Camping!  
  
Where we last left off, Jou was screaming like an idiot.  
  
"Nooooo!" Jou continued screaming. Yami, Marik, and Bakura grabbed the swords they had packed and made a fighting pose. Bakura was the first to jumps at the evil, deranged squirrels. All of a sudden there was the author, watching this on t.v, she then puts it on mute. A bright light gormed and filled the scene.  
  
T.V NOTE: DUE TO THE GRAPHICAL VIOLENCE, WE KNOW YOU MIGHT CHANGE THE CHANNEL SO PLEASE, WATCH THE DANCING SQUIRREL ON THE CORNER OF YOUR SCREEN. THANKYOU.  
  
mob: Hey, I didn't add that!  
  
ILS: Sorry, I added the dancing squirrel. Remember, wes gotsta keep the story pg-13. Member?  
  
mob: I love having you as my host!  
  
WE NOW RETURN TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM.  
  
Jou opened his eyes, there was blood all over the place.  
  
"YAMI!MARIK!BAKURA!" Bakura and Marik came up behind him. Yami was lying on the floor, holding flowers.  
  
"He's- he's- dead!" Jou choked, well, that was before Yami stood up. "Well, that was a waste!" Bakura commented. Mai stood along with Isis. Anzu's hair grew back. "It actually worked!" Honda joked, Azu didn't have a purse in hand, so she threw a rock at his head. Yeeup, everyone was safe.  
  
"Wow, what a waste of war, I mean, all they wanted to do was save Tennesse!  
  
*Everyone: Silent*  
  
"Marik, we're in Japan."  
  
"Dun dun dun!" Yugi chirped.  
  
"Shutup Yugi!" Marik shoved Yugi into the hole. That really didn't last long, Yugi came out about a miliseconde later.  
  
"How'd you get out?"  
  
"Shpsh! Through the emergency exit door!"  
  
"Dun dun dun!"  
  
"Shutup Yami!" Bakura tripped Yami so Yami could fall. "Hey guys...look!" Ryou pointed to a sign that was hidden by a tree. It said: "BEWARE. STAY OUT OF THESE WOODS, THEY ARE KNOWN TO HAVE KILLER SQUIRRELS, DEAD ZOMBIES, AND MUMMIFIED BODIES IN THE RIVER."  
  
Everyone: *silent*  
  
Everyone: Aghhhhhhhh! (contiuation followed)  
  
THE END.  
  
mob: that was......GREAT!  
  
ILS: YEA! Let's do another fic!  
  
mob: Yea?  
  
ILS: Yea!  
  
Mob: Yea! Please read and review! 


End file.
